3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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