your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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