Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
NoShamevember. You game?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
