Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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