is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
