it wasn't lemon gatorade
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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