thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
