I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
