Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize