Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
