i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Everyone says I win the strip club
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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