I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
