Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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