oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
