TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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