I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
is it fun? or sober?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize