My pussy is not your playground.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
