Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Pooping to opera.
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