Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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