My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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