'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We had sex on a dog bed..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All I want is dick and wine.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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