i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
