my shit smells like andre
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
