Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
my poor anus
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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