So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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