dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
