508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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