Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
