thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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