are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
