It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
