do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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