man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Someone came in the potted fern
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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