So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize