That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
