My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize