people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
