Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
