You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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