Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
