did you get engaged???
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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