Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.