i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
