i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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