So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I believe in your delicious
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
