Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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