This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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