Christians are straight up FREAKS
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
