woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
