Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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