seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
