so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
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as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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