If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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