At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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