You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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