You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
