Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
