We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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