If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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