While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
a search helicopter?!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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