maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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