Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize