Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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