it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
